ZOEY UPDATE

 ZOEY NOW HAS ATAXIA , WHICH IS A DISEASE OR A FORM OF PARALYSIS WHERE SHE CAN'T STAND OR WALK AND DOES CIRCLES WHEN MANUEVERING AROUND.  SHE IS UNDER 24 HOUR SUPERVISION WITH US AND HAS BEEN FOR THE LAST YEAR. BUT THIS ATAXIA HAS ONLY BEEN FOR THE LAST MONTH OR SO.  WE BELIEVE THAT THIS HAS OCCURED BECAUSE OF HER SPINE DEFORMITY WHICH SHE HAS HAD SINCE BIRTH. BUT THAT HAS NEVER STOPPED HER UNTIL NOW AND ITS FRUSTRATING FOR HER.  SHE'S SCARED AND IS PARTIALLY BLIND. 

 WERE NOW HAND FEEDING HER AND HOLDING HER TO GET A DRINK OF WATER.  ITS TIME-CONSUMING AS SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT SHE WANTS.  SOMETIMES SHE JUST WANTS TO BE HELD AND SOMETIMES SHE WANTS A DRINK OF WATER.  SOMETIMES SHE'S JUST NOT COMFORTABLE.  AS YOU CAN SEE IN THE PICTURE SHE SLEEPS IN THIS POSITION, I KNOW IT LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT FOR HER IT WORKS.  SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO REPOSITION HER TO MAKE HER COMFORTABLE.  

SO AS YOU CAN SEE IT'S HARD FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING LATELY, AND IT'S FRUSTRATING BUT SHE'S NOT READY TO LEAVE US.  AND I'M WILLING TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH HER FOR ALL THE JOY SHE'S GIVEN US.  

IT'S ALSO BEEN HARD ON OUR RELATIONSHIP AS WE BICKER AND FIGHT OVER STUPID THINGS AND WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH WITH HER.  MY HUSBAND IS DOING AT LEAST 2 LOADS OF LAUNDRY A DAY FOR HER BEDS AND PEE TOWELS.  HE'S DEALING WITH BACK, NECK PAIN BUT HELPING HER IS MAKING HIS BACK / NECK PAIN WORSE. 

THE PICS BELOW SHOW HER TENACITY FOR HOW SHE LIVED, SHE STARED DOWN HER FIRST GERMAN SHEPARD TO GET AN ORANGE THAT SHE WANTED, AND SHE WAS AN EXPERT CLIMBER. SHE LOVED TO CLIMB ON ANYTHING SHE COULD TO GET CLOSER TO US.  WE EVEN HAD TO PUT A CYNDER BLOCK IN THE GARBAGE CAN BECAUSE SHE WOULD TIP IT OVER TO GET INTO IT.  NOTHING STOPPED HER.  

SO ITS HARD TO GET MUCH DONE AND OR READ AND STUDY THE BIBLE.  BUT I'M TRYING TO WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING OR SETTLED DOWN.  WHICH ISN'T OFTEN.  

ALSO WITH THIS IS THE FACT THAT IN 1999 WHEN I MET MY HUSBAND HE HAD A 8YR OLD PUG , PUNKY WHO WAS A SOBRIETY GIFT TO HIM FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP.  AND WHEN SHE PASSED WE HAD BOBO MY BLACK PUG BUT WE SOON LATER WENT AND GOT ANOTHER FEMALE PUG FOR  TRISTAN.  THAT WAS HARLEY. SO SINCE THEN WE'VE HAD PUGS IN OUR HOUSEHOLD THIS WHOLE TIME. NEVER BEEN WITHOUT.  AND WHEN ZOEY IS GONE, WE WON'T HAVE ONE IN THE HOUSE AT ALL AS WE CANT AFFORD TO GET ONE.  IT WILL BE VERY HARD AND EMOTIONAL AND STRESSFUL.  WERE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS THOUGH.  WE HAVE TO.. WITH GOD'S HELP. 

I KNOW PEOPLE THINK THAT WE SHOULD PUT HER DOWN, EUTHANIZE HER, WHEN I EXPLAIN TO THEM WHAT WE DEAL WITH.  BUT I PUT 3 OF OUR BABIES DOWN IN TWO YEARS, AND NONE OF THEM WANTED TO LEAVE US.  THEY WANTED TO STAY WITH US.  HARLEY HAD SEIZURES AND ROSEBUD HAD CANCER IN HER JAW.  AVA HAD DEGENERATIVE MYLETHOPY AND COULDN'T WALK.  SO I MADE THE DECISION WHEN I THOUGHT IT WAS TIME.  MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE, MAYBE I DID IT TOO SOON, BUT MAYBE NOT.  SO, I'VE GONE THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES IN MY HEAD ABOUT ZOEY AND TALKED TO MY HUSBAND ABOUT IT.  WERE STAYING WITH HER AND GOING THROUGH THIS WITH HER.  WERE MAKING HER AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND FEEDING HER SEVERAL TIMES A DAY.  I HOLD HER AND TALK TO HER AND LET HER KNOW SHE'S NOT IN THIS ALONE.  SHE GETS SCARED AND NEEDS TO BE REASSURED.  SHE HAS ANXIETY WHEN LEFT ALONE TO LONG.  WERE IN THIS TOGETHER WITH GOD.  HE WILL LET US KNOW, IF SHE DOESN'T.  WERE PRAYING SHE GOES IN HER SLEEP.